List

15Jun13

Animals I would like to be reincarnated as:
A Bear:
– They are the kings of the forest. Do any animals mess with a bear? No.
– They’re big, and soft. Who wouldn’t like being big,soft and cuddly.
– They’re pretty mellow. They just kinda roam around, might eat a berry or two, a leaf, maybe fish a little, or wallow around a campsite and snuff a few potato chips.
– They’re pretty independent. They like to keep to themselves and do their own thing, but they don’t mind company.
– They have superpowers. Okay they don’t have superpowers, but they have an extremely heightened sense of hearing and smell.
– They’re powerful and fast. If the bear species was embodied by a celebrity, it’d be Sylvester Stallone
A Parrott:
– They can talk, AND fly. They are the superman of Kingdom Animalia.
– They’re sassy. You’ve seen what these things can say.
– They get a dope crib. They get to live in a house with heating and air conditioning and they get to watch T.V
– The cuisine. I’ve seen those suet cakes for birds at my work and they look darn delicious.
– Humans aren’t trying to kill them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.
– get your own personal playground.
–
A Giraffe:
– They can be really nosy. (the long neck helps a little bit)
– I’ve never seen one get eaten on the discovery channel.
– You don’t have to hunt. If trees could run, oh if trees could run.
– You get to stand in the sun all day.
– I read on the internet that giraffes are “tall, good looking and successful”. http://animalinyou.com/profile.php?a=giraffe
– They are elegant and graceful.
A Liger:
– They exist.
– They can breathe fire.
– They speak Latin.
– It is the combination of the two most formidable animals on earth.
– Nobody knows whether you exist in the wild or not. Or so we think……
– They have interracial parents.
– Jesus rides one in the bible.
– Napoleon Dynamite breeds them in his basement.
– The human embodied Liger is Kesha. The party doesn’t start until the Liger walks in.
– Their diet consists of elephants and fear.
– They play poker with bigfoot every Thursday.

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